Updates and Upcoming Fun!

Wow! It's been a while since I updated! Whoops! I promise I won't let that happen again! I've been pretty busy over the past couple of weeks! Now I'm hunkering down and I'm about to make some awesome things happen on this blog. What have I been up to?

• I got the chance to take a "business trip" to Vegas for the ANE (Adult Novelty Expo)/AEE (Adult Entertainment Expo). I was in porn and sex toy heaven out there. I met a lot of great people and had some wonderful (and quite sexy) experiences out there. Vegas, I'll see you next year!
• I'm writing for UltraVulgarSuperFiend.com now! I recently wrote an article for them on my top 5 sex toys. You can check that out here. It was pretty hard to sit down and actually choose 5 things I like because my closet is sex toy mountain.
• I've been in contact with Eurotique, a custom corset and BDSM gear company, and ONE Condoms about some super awesome projects. Stay tuned for those! 

There are also some other fun things that are in the works, but you'll have to wait and see! I don't want to spoil the mystery. I also know what you guys want to see from me! I have so many ideas that it's hard to narrow them down. Do you want more reviews? Silly stories from the porn store? Articles on sex? Relationships? Advice? There's a poll on the right hand side over there. Let me know!

Drunken Thoughts On: New Sex vs. Familiar Sex

There is an obvious difference between the sex you have with someone new and the sex you have with someone you've been with for a while. This can even be with the same person. To me, as a polyamorous individual, I believe that this is something I want to keep experiencing. I want it all. I want to experience the rush of sex with new people, and I want to experience the comforting sex I've had with someone I've had sex with many times before.

So let's look at 'new sex'. Think about the first time you're with someone new. Think about all of the wonderful anticipation and nervousness as you begin to explore each other for the first few times. The first time you undress in front of someone is a powerful experience. It all feels as exciting as things in middle or high school were. Suddenly you're placed back into that adolescent level of anxiety.   It's a truly beautiful thing. You explore this other person in the most intimate way you possibly can. You hold your breath and the feeling of their hands on your skin is amplified a million times. You eagerly anticipate their every move, their every touch and caress. You become impatient. You want them to hurry up and end your agony of wanting all of them. You can tell a lot about someone in these first moments you spend together in an intimate way. Do they try to caress you? Please you? Tease you? Do they go straight for the gold? How do they touch you? New sex is one of the most exciting, powerful things one can experience, in my honest (drunken) opinion. This is what we would call the 'lust' of sex.

Now, familiar sex is on the other end of the spectrul. You may not feel that same rush each time you undress that person as you did the first person, but it's all still just as satisfying. It's on a completely different level. You've been there already, and you know you'll still be there for a while.  There's really something amazing about the comfort you can find in being completely naked and comforable with someone you've been intimate with countless times. You know the ins and outs of each other's bodies. You know what drives the other person nuts. You're more inspired to be creative and to try new things, and this is a wonderful challenge. You know just how to push that other person's buttons. It's much more emotionally attached. Sometimes, you can skip all the foreplay and other nonsense, and get right down to business because you're that comfortable with each other. Familar sex is much more solid, much more stable, and much more comforting.  This is the 'love' of sex.

Both types of sex truly have their place in live. Imagine sex as a house. When you first move into it, you map out the floorplan. You make plans for it. You enjoy putting your personal touch on everything. You unpack everything and it suddenly becomes familiar after a while. Then, after some time, you have a history there. You have memories. You know the floorplan so well that you could navigate it in the dark, and you feel much more comfortable there.

Shit My Customers Say

Quiet Business Man:  (commenting on my short hair) "I like your hair. There's nothing worse than pissing a woman off because you rolled over and pulled her hair and it hurt her."

Weird Older Guy: "You look like you should be in college." Uhh . . . what does that mean? Thanks?

Young Nice Guy: (to his girlfriend as she's buying a strap on and large dildo) "All we need is a bottle of tequila and when we go to the cookout you can wreck that chick." This was priceless.

Someone's Mom: "Where are your DVD's with white guys and black chicks? I need to find something for my 21-year-old son. He's friends with a lot of black people, so that's what he likes."

Creepy Old Guy: "Do a lot of college girls come in here?" You need to know this why?

Nice Older Woman: "I'm 63 and I'm still sexually active and I don't know why these men need to take these pills to get their stuff to work right. Back in my day all you had to was kiss on your man's neck and he'd be ready to go. It makes no sense to me for them to take all these pills. They might as well get a fake penis if theirs won't work right." This one seriously had me cracking up.




I'm sure this will become a longer running series of posts.

Why Is Human Sexuality So Fascinating?

Why are we here? What's the purpose of life? These deep, philosophical questions can be answered with one simple word: sex. Think about it. None of us would be here if there wasn't some inherent desire to be sexual. Everything we do on a daily basis is somehow related to sex. That degree you're pursuing? That's so you can get a better job so that you have the resources to attract a mate and provide for your offspring to ensure their survival. That book you're reading? That is someone else demonstrating their talents so that they can do the same. That song you like? Same story. No matter what it is that you're doing, there is usually some way to connect it to sex. Humanity depends on this and that's why we're all here to begin with.

I've always been fascinated with human sexuality, but it wasn't until I started working in a place that gave me a comprehensive view of real sexuality that I really started to think about it in terms of person to person rather than the chemistry and physiology behind it. I've watched my fair share of documentaries and read countless books on the science of sex, and it's all incredibly interesting, but we all pretty much work the same in that respect. Why, though, do we have so many individual differences when it comes to our personal preferences, desires, and expressions of our sexuality?

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The Science Behind Why We Find Porn So Sexy

Think for a minute about why you like porn. There's just something about seeing one person stick their parts into another person's parts that gets you all hot and bothered, right? Have you ever thought about why that happens? Well, it's all because of science. The reason behind why porn makes us all aroused is the same reason we cry at sad movies, enjoy watching sports, and know how to do most of the things we do on a daily basis. At first, it may seem like porn turns us on because it makes us think about sex, but if just the thought of sex could do the same thing to us that porn does, we wouldn't really need it very much, would we?

Imagine yourself watching an action movie. In the really tense moments, you feel on the edge of your seat, right? Your heart may start beating faster, and your breath might quicken. You almost feel like you're right in the movie. Well, when you think about the events in the movie, you don't really feel that same level of excitement, do you? Studies suggest that it's because of something called mirror neurons.


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Silly Stories from the Porn Store

When I tell people what I do for a living, the first question I usually get is "Do you get a lot of weird people coming in there?" The answer is always yes, and then they ask me if I have any crazy stories. The answer to that one is yes, as well. I constantly have people ask me how I don't bust out laughing, or how I maintain composure when my customers get all weird on me. Once you've been working at a place, you've seen everything. Some of these stories are total WTFs, but some of them are actually pretty cool.

Here are a few of the most memorable stories I have:

My two friends were in the store chatting with me. One of my regulars came in. This guy is always a little weird. He's an older guy, and kinda creepy overall. My friends went into the back corner of the store to look at something, and I guess their presence made him feel really weird. He quickly grabbed one of the 12" double-ended dildos, and then mumbled something about needing two of the male enhancement pills and one of the poppers. Without even thinking twice about it, I grabbed him the things out of the case and put them on the counter. Before I even started ringing him up, he started taking everything out of the packages. "Whoa, buddy! Wanna wait till I finish ringing you up before you open the packages?" This delayed him for only a few seconds. He hands me the money and proceeds to stick the dildo down the front of his pants, pops the two pills (that you're only supposed to take one at a time because they last for 79 hours), throws the popper in his pocket, tosses the packages back at me and walks out of the store. Everything happened so quickly that my brain could barely process it. That guy still comes back, hasn't shoved any other dildos down his pants since then.

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Thoughts On: Jealousy and Relationships.

I'm sure everyone reading this is familiar with the concept of jealousy. It's a natural human emotion, and I won't refute that point. Everyone experiences it in some point in their lives. Some people out there are naturally jealous types, and this can cause a ton of problems.

So, say your lover/girlfriend/husband/whatever starts to show some attention to someone else. What's your natural reaction? It's most likely some form of jealousy. You want to know who this person is, what they're all about, and why they might be worthy of this other person's attention. Now, some people will develop a bit of a superiority complex and tell themselves that they're better than that other person, but the most natural reaction is jealousy. There's that fear that somehow this person is better than you, more worthy than you, and that they'll end up stealing this person from you. Sometimes these thoughts aren't completely formed in your head, but the seeds of it are there and you deal with the emotions of it.

Why are you jealous, though? Think about it? Personally, I believe that jealously is just a symptom of insecurity. It's the symptom of deeper rooted issues that reside within you. People who are completely secure and accepting of themselves are rarely ever jealous. Why? Because they are confident. They know that that other person isn't going anywhere. They are balanced and accept their flaws without hanging on to them.

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